don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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