so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
