No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
