just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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