I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
