I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
