can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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