pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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