I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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