VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
