Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
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My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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