Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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