her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Randomize
