Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
