Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
