If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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