PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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