Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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