out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
