so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
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Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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