I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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