I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
