How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
