"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
