What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
