im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you had me at cake vodka
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
