her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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