My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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