If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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