my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
