how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
