no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
