Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
