I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
