It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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