You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't turn off my feet"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
