Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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