Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize