Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
