I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
