in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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