Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
