The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
