Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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