She announced her abortion via fbk
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
