okay pat passed out under dana's car
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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