Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I checked into jail on foursquare
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
