In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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