I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
