I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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