If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
