i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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