i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
