Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize