my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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