3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
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Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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