just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
