Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
