the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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