if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
