tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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