When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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