i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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